What Should I Be When I Grow Up?

This is such an enormous question, it is as overwhelming today as it was when I was 10. The answer to this seems no more obvious now, then back then. It feels peculiar that we start asking our little people so early on in their life, what job they will do when they grow up.
Do you do the job that you aspired to do at that age?

When I was 10 years old, I remember writing I wanted to be a lawyer and as a bright Indian child, it was one of the options my folks offered as a suggestion. Being a lawyer, trumped being a pharmacist and was indeed the best out of an otherwise boring list. 

Looking back, I realised that there was no real exposure to the array of jobs on offer and I was reliant on my folks for guidance. Education was seen as a gateway from the hardships that they had endured and they encouraged us to work hard. 

At this point, I should confirm, I did not join the legal profession or become a pharmacist. The actual thought of wearing a white overall filled me with horror.

This reminiscing, coupled with finding myself reading Architecture Matters by Aaron Betsky in the launderette on a Sunday afternoon, led to me realising, that what I have always liked is houses. Aaron talks about how he had a fascination with buildings and architecture from a young age.  It occurred me, that so did I.

I was always drawn to the odd house in the street, the one that looked like it should be on a different street. I have vivid memories of all of the places that we have lived, I often dream about them still and always have an urge to visit them again. I become emotionally attached to buildings and feel a loss when they are no longer there. The most recent being the Ziggurat that was torn down in Birmingham, only to be replaced with faceless new buildings, that will never have any soul about them. 

This has led me to think about my own pathway and to think about how to encourage my own daughter to be inquisitive about her environment or to ensure that she is aware that there are not limited opportunities in life. 

Something that has recently hindered this, is the consumption of the 11 Plus exam. 

It seems that we have recently been tunnel visioned on focusing on the 11 Plus and swept along with the madness that if she fails this test at the age of 10, she will fail in life. A ridiculous notion, but one that I see too many people fixated on and have programmed their children to pass this milestone test.   

Whilst we have actively avoided trying to stress out our 10 year old and have downplayed the importance of the test, it has taken an almighty amount of effort and I think I may have slightly failed. 

I wonder how many of us have considered what we are teaching our children along this journey? The majority of us come from a position where we are exposing them to a wide range of activities/experiences and then we revert back to the archaic practice of driving them to pass exams. 

I am not quite sure of where I am going with this, but what I do know is that the key life milestones for my daughter  should not be inextricably linked to a pass or fail. 

I understand the importance of gaining an excellent education and driving our children to succeed in life, but for me, my daughter can literally be whatever she likes and she wont have any resistance from us.  

#mentalhealth #imayregretthis #youonlyliveonce #takeachance #100suffrageanniversary #freetoplay #education


Suffragettes in prison clothing after their release, 1908 Photograph: Heritage Images/Getty Images



I’m not Extreme, Consumerism Is

I’m not Extreme, Consumerism Is

— Read on zerowastechef.com/2018/11/22/im-not-extreme-consumerism-is/

New Car Equals Freedom

For as long as I can remember I have been an excellent passenger seat driver. I pack car sweets, unwrap the car sweets, and pass the car sweets! I make entertaining conversation and on rare occasions make the right judgement call on which direction we should be going…

I am in charge of the playlist and bloody love looking out of the window and saying things like, “OMG, look at that?!?”

When all of the car jobs are done, I politely go to sleep.

Then earlier this year, for reasons unbeknown to me, I decided I needed to drive and I should get a car; so that’s what I did. (No surprise to those of you that know me.)

Now this news was received with great excitement and trepidation from those around me. Mr. Deau was visualising never having to drive again, whilst secretly fearing for my life!

Anoukh on the other hand was beyond excited about never having to get on public transport ever again.

And so it is, I now have a car. A super lovely Mini Clubman; just quirky enough.

It has apparently granted me freedom and independence like I have never experienced before… I get asked all of the time, don’t you wish you did it before? Don’t you love the independence? You can go where you like by yourself now.

All quite odd really. I have always had independence, I don’t think there was anywhere I couldn’t go before, and if Mr. D wasn’t available, Uber was. (and an army of friends and family)

What has actually happened is that I have forgotten how to walk; anywhere. My knees hurt and I am worried I am becoming old before my time.

It has also opened my eyes to how awful people are, the word idiot (maybe worse, depending on the company) passes my lips far too much. I think I am right all of the time and have a growing contempt for a wider demographic of people.

And don’t get me started on having to concentrate all of the time….

So anyway…..

I decided that I should go for walk and off I went. (You know, once I have made my mind up…)

Surprise surprise, I had a lovely time, the fresh air cleared my brain, I mentally updated the to do list, I made random plans on how I would take over the world and plotted some more get rich schemes.

It was one of the most productive hours I have spent in a long time. I was able to have a good nose around and realised that I have super missed this.

I can not stress the importance of taking time out of your day to clear your head, take a break and day dream. It can only set you up for success.

Try it, you may strike gold!

#happywalking #goodtodaydream